Shadow of Memories

I thought about us so many times,
And yet that is never going to happen again.
No matter how much I think about it,
I cannot concrete my thoughts into actions.

I am trying to respect your wishes so much,
I am trying so much to burn these thoughts,
I am trying so much to burn this feeling,
I am trying so much to block my inner me,

I need to change my lands,
I need to go away from your memory,
I need to convince myself you do not exist anymore.

I have thought so many times on going to your house for an hour and so,
I have thought so many times on what to say if I had the courage,
I have thought so many times on what would your reaction be,
I have thought and yet I haven't done anything but this,

These words are my way to free myself,
These words are my chamber,
These words protect me of going crazy,
These words protect me of loosing myself,
These words protect you of me as well,
These words are my only company,

Now that I realized that I will survive,
Now that I realized that you will live,
Now that I realized that we are not to be together,

I know I have to let go,
I know I need to go,
I know these words won't be the last,
I know now that you will always be in my shadows.

However I will try not to be in yours.
And again I am sorry.

To R.A.M.O.

Memories

In a Dream

In a Dream

Do you really hate me that much?
Do you really hate me?
I believe if I understood what do you think about me I would hate me too.
But instead you don't talk to me, I am in love with a memory.
A memory that follows you everywhere and anywhere.
I dreamt about you last night and in the dream I told you I was sorry while I was hugging you with my arms around your neck.
I fought with your mother. She was trying to protect you from me.
She was afraid I would hurt you again.
But I stood up and answered her that I was there for you and only for you.
That I didn't care about anything else but you.
I said I did understand why she thought about me so low.
However and even thought I knew I didn't deserve another chance I was there begging for their good heart and yours to give me another opportunity to love you and to be with you.
I was truly just there to devote my life to you, to love and to respect you for as long as God would allow me to.
And knowing now that it was only a dream I come here to this place where I feel safe.
Trusting my thoughts to The Universe with the hope that perhaps some day you will read these lines and will give me after some years another chance.

To R.A.M.O.
Let me be that person again...

Forget you.

I need to forget you

They said I had to forget you,

They said I must let you go from my deep memories,

They said I should let it in the past,

They said I have to burried the memories,

But I do not need such a pain,

I already loose you once,

Yet why to have the pain of loosing you again

That I cannot let,

I will always remember you as I promise you once,

I will always say thank you for all you did and have done. 

By Vicky Butterfly Slim